Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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