i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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