Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
