We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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