Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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