thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
