We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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