So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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