Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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