end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm both gender and math confused
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
