The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
