i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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