Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
