i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
