THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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