You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
