I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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