Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
