Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
