I must be too annoying 4 u.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So many bounce houses so little time
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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