Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think a kid would responsible me up
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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