did you get engaged???
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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