I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
