party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
