Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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