ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
