Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize