so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
