How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
