this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just google imaged poop.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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