WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
