I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
