You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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