you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
