i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize