Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
