I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
