I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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