lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
