I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
