you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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