New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
