I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
