Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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