I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
