It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
