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Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize