just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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