I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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