Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
