Got a toothbrush?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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