I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
