she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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