out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
