I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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