I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need a beard to bite.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize