that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
