Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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