Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
