You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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